The Pain of Being
by Colder Zero
Summary: Rated for Cursing. In this fic, the reprecussions of the Red Ribbon Revival come to light for a certain female Demi-saiyajin in regards to the last of the Androids.


Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, or any of the characters depicted herein; I'm just using them to bring you this tale.  
  
Author's Notes: This short one-shot is a semi-sequel to a fic I'm starting work on, called The Revival of the Red Ribbon Army. It's an AU, so there's no GT. It's set sometime after the passing on of Krillin and Chi-Chi, and what starts out as a small adventure quickly turns into a rollercoaster ride of pain and misery. This fic revolves around the last of the new Jinzoningen, Number 24, his dilemma, and Pan. Oh, and don't be too surprised by some of the faces there; if I get enough positive reviews, I'll begin work on the RRA fic as soon as possible.  
  
THE PAIN OF BEING  
  
It is a bright day. The Sun is bearing down on those foolish enough to not wear sunblock, and the waves lapping against the beach can lull anyone into a deep sleep if they block out everything else.  
  
A young man stands in front of a pink house with the words "Kame House" emblazoned on the siding. Inside, there are friends and family, enjoying a reunion after a time of pain and sorrow.  
  
They are not his friends and family, however.  
  
The only family this man knew was an old man named Gero.  
  
His creator, and, in a sick way, his father.  
  
He brushes his long unruly black hair out of his eyes, watching the water with eyes the color of faded ice. In his ears are two small hoop earrings, and his skin is a somewhat pale color. He stands at 6'1", and wears a pair of black leather pants, a black muscle shirt, and black boots. One arm, his left, is completely enshrouded in mummy-wrap bandages, even up to the shoulder.  
  
He lets the wind brush against his hot skin, and for once he can feel the pain fading away..  
  
Until a voice speaks to him.  
  
"Uhm, we're having the dinner now, 24," a girl wearing a red t-shirt, black biker shorts, a white muscle shirt, and sneakers says to him. Her hair is darker than his, and her dark eyes try to penetrate his soul as he glances back at the twenty-year old.  
  
"..I'll be in in a bit, Pan," he says softly, before returning his gaze to the crystal waters, letting the Sun beat down upon him, letting it scorch away his skin, his sight..  
  
He feels her hand on his right arm, and soon she is dragging him inside, not knowing what she is doing, the pain she's about to cause..  
  
He follows her inside, and the conversation stops. He can feel their eyes on him, boring into him, trying to pick apart his soul. Some wave, some smile amicably..while others glare, mutter, and then ignore him.  
  
He sees the arm around Juuhaci's shoulder tighten, her husband subconsciously fearing what may happen to his wife. She turns, and looks up into his dark eyes, and smiles bravely.  
  
"Goku, I think you're over-reacting," she says to him softly, once more reassuring him that she will be here, that she won't be taken away again. 24 moves his gaze upon Vegeta, the proud Prince of all Saiyajins; he can see the contempt there, the hatred. He looks about to curse when his wife, Bulma, stops him with a sad shake of her head. Juunana's eyes never leave 24, always watching, always waiting for him to slip up, to give him an excuse to kill him. The Jinzoningen sighs, and looks at Pan, who is somehow oblivious to all this, and more.  
  
He spots Marron and Trunks, and notes with a small smile how close they are, and the slight swell of the young woman's stomach. He can tell it's a pregnancy without the scans, or experience. When the lavender hair boy looks up at him, he can see in those cobalt blue eyes the thanks he has owes 24 for saving Marron that year ago this day..  
  
The woman, so much like her mother that it almost frightens 24, smiles up at him, a small tear of sorrow running down her face. She's always like this when he visits; she blames herself for why the others hate him so, why they would rather kill him, lock him up, or shut him down. It makes the android hurt that much more when he sees the look in her pale blue eyes as they take in his left arm, swathed in layers of surgical tape and cloth bandage, hiding it's obscenity from the world, but not from anyone with decent ki senses.  
  
The table is ready, and everyone sits; it took some doing, but there are enough seats for everyone, even 16 and 15, who eat merely as a nicety; as totally mechanical androids, they do not need the food or the rest that the cyborgs sometimes rely upon. The short, purple-skinned Artificial Human grumbles a bit as the large, yet kind-hearted 16 takes his hip flask and tosses it aside. 24 has a smile on his lips, but it soon vanishes as he looks into the eyes of Son Gohan..  
  
.And sees..  
  
.Fear.  
  
What could he possibly fear? Without much effort, he could more than likely demolish the android before anyone could blink twice, or move to stop him.  
  
Then it hits 24 like a ton of bricks.  
  
He fears for his daughter, who is still dragging the Jinzoningen to the dinner table, and is now pushing him down into his seat. She sits next to him, a small frown on her beautiful face.  
  
It makes 24 want to die; the hurt in his chest grows so much more now, than he thought possible.  
  
Still, he wants to make them all feel at ease, like they were before he entered the house, before he entered their lives. It's not easy, but eventually, even Vegeta's constant scowl in 24's presence reverts back into the small frown he can usually be seen with. It makes the hurt less, but not by much.  
  
But at least it's a start.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
It is darker out now, and nearly all the guests are gone; all save Trunks, Pan, Marron, 24, Juunana, and 16. 15 left with Yamucha to go bar-hopping for a while, since he couldn't find his hip-flask anywhere. 24 watches the way Goku's arms are holding Juuhachi protectively close to his chest and sighs again for what seems like the millionth time that night.  
  
Pan is still watching him, as she watches Juunana. He guesses that she's drawn to the strong, silent type.  
  
As 24 leaves, he pats Turtle on his shell, and takes off into the sky.  
  
Then, he can feel it.  
  
Another ki.  
  
A familiar ki.  
  
He stops, and sighs again.  
  
Pan.  
  
She followed him, and is looking up at him with those dark, pleading eyes. He can see that they have a hurt in them, not unlike his own; but it is a childish hurt, when compared to his own.  
  
"Why are you leaving so soon?" she asks him, moving so she's blocking his exit path. When he doesn't answer, she asks again, more forcefully than before: "Why are you leaving so soon?"  
  
Almost against his will, 24 answers.  
  
"Because they don't want me there," is all he says, as his eyes lock on to hers. She snorts in disbelief. He continues. "After what happened last year, I'm surprised I was even asked in the first place." When he sees the faint blush there, the pieces click together in his cybernetic brain. "..It was you, wasn't it?" he asks her, unblinking, his eyes less devoid of emotion than they were before.  
  
She nods, the blush deepening. "After all the help you were, I didn't think it was fair to leave you out of the reunion..and I had to ask you something."  
  
"What?" is his response, his voice become less even, less monotonous.  
  
"..Nearly every night since they've been together, Trunks has called me and told me that Marron's been crying herself to sleep whenever your name is brought up. Why?" Pan's question catches him by surprise, and also makes his stomach lurch, something that has never really happened before. Well, once before. But not quite this violently.  
  
".I think she blames herself for the hatred everyone feels towards me," he answers softly, looking into the demi-saiyajin's eyes before he turns his head, his eyes blurry and stinging.  
  
"Why?" she asks him again, that one word burning it's way through to the cold, painful truth hidden underneath the bandages on his arm.  
  
"..Because...because of my arm." The four words, spoken hesitantly, confuse Pan. She knew that, unlike the other cyborgs, 24's arm had no flesh - only bare, exposed muscle fibers and tissues, red with the artificial blood that kept them alive - and the wires and fibrous cables that replaced a good third of those organic layers, and also that his hand was purely mechanical, part of devastating weapon that could shatter the Sun, if used on full power. He had, however, never concealed his arm before now...  
  
No, that was a lie, she thought then. Ever since he had emerged from the wrecked lab, Marron held in his arms, he had shielded the appendage from view. But her Grandfather, and Uncle Vegeta had known from the moment they laid eyes on him as he rejoined them that something was wrong. Marron had told her mother, and she her brother. It was then that he noticed a change amongst the small group. Not even Cell Jr. had received this treatment, but then he was..different; for all his assine behavior, he HAD been a part of the team.  
  
24 was a freak now, and he knew it.  
  
But Pan didn't. And now she wanted the truth.  
  
"What about it?" she asks, a sense of dread beginning to well up inside of her, despite her efforts to remain calm.  
  
24 took a deep breath before he continued.  
  
"...When I got to the lab, I found.scientists. They wanted to recreate the 'perfect cyborgs' Gero had made, but couldn't find any living beings that fit. Except for one.." He trailed off, allowing Pan to figure that part out herself.  
  
"...It was Marron, wasn't it? Because she looks like her mother's twin instead of her daughter, right?" the young woman asked, feeling slightly ill at the thought of her friend becoming one of Gero's killing machines.  
  
"Yes. But I stopped them. I cut off the machines, and got her free," he paused, reliving that fateful day, the day when the pain became too much to ignore. "That's when I fucked it all up."  
  
Pan looked at him as he laughed bitterly.  
  
"Turns out there was another Jinzoningen in the lab, and when I cut the power to the machines...I let him out," he whispers, his eyes closing tightly shut.  
  
"Who?" Pan asks, unable to stop herself.  
  
"..Cell."  
  
Pan was speechless at that part. She knew the story; of how the crazed scientist made a biological android, and how it traveled back from the future to seek completion  
  
"They managed to recreate that bastard from Gero's notes, and new samples from the Z Senshi...they even managed to evolve him into his Imperfect form. The morons forgot to fill in the blanks, though."  
  
She looked at him again, still confused.  
  
"He thought Marron was Juuhachi, and was going to absorb her when I used my cannon attack on three-quarter power. Ii didn't kill him..but it did destroy my hand, and most of my arm. I can still feel the phantom pain at night, as the muscles and wires snapped, the numbness working its way through my nerves and circuits." He shudders, his left arm twitching visibly from the remembrance.  
  
"I had to rip off my arm from the shoulder so I could fight him...and I won. But not before I took something from him..something that makes Marron cry at night, that makes her mother and uncle cringe in fear when they see it, something that makes Goku worry for the safety of his family when he knows I'm there, something that makes Vegeta look down on me even more than before.." He ended his tale, looking back at Pan expectantly.  
  
"What..what..what did you take?" she whispers, her eyes wide with fear.  
  
In answer, 24 removes the bandages from his left arm, slowly, deliberately drawing it out, so as not to give her nightmares, or make her scream in some kind of horror.  
  
Her eyes went wide, and she backed off as he flexed his arm, and allowed her the full view of it, of the horror he bound himself to...  
  
Where his torso met his shoulder there was a greenish tint to his skin, and it seemed to become.harder than flesh. That wasn't the worst part.  
  
His arm was the same size as the other, though it was as far away from human looking as it could be at the moment.  
  
It was well-muscled, and its carapaced surface glinted a bit in the light from the setting Sun. His fingers were green, and had black fingernails, pointed and elongated much like a woman's would be. The palm of his hand was a black as the lower arm, while the top of his hand was the same green as his fingers. The green carapace of his upper arm and shoulder were spotted black, and their joints were sinewy and looked fibrous. His elbow was also the same green, chitanous material as the rest of his arm.  
  
Pan felt tears coming to her eyes, and she understood. She finally understood.  
  
"I."  
  
"Took."  
  
"His."  
  
"Arm."  
  
He said each word slowly, in order for her to understand the severity of his actions, and what the consequences were.  
  
"Have...have you.tried removing it?" she asks, her eyes locked on the mismatched arm as it hung at 24's side.  
  
"I tried cutting the damned thing off after it was over..." he says softly again, remembering the agony that had been.  
  
"A-and.?"  
  
"The Kami-damned thing *grew* back!!" he hisses at her, his eyes suddenly blazing with fury. "..I'm sorry, Pan-chan," he smiles, using her nickname. His eyes calmed down, and resumed their usual coldness. "It's a part of me now.."  
  
"But why.." She starts to ask, before he floats closer, and presses and finger - a human finger - against her lips.  
  
"They think the arm will change the rest of me..that it will make me Cell..and that they will have to kill me," he says sadly, as he ruffles her hair with his Cell-arm. She looks at him, crying, and gives him a hug, pulling him in a tight embrace before he breaks it off, wiping away her tears with the fingers of his left hand.  
  
"Don't cry, Pan; I think that they're all full of it myself," he lies convincingly, as he gives her arms a reassuring squeeze before flying away, the rapidly-approaching darkness blotting him out as he waves a farewell.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
When she rejoined her family, she held Marron's hand, and the two mourned the life 24 would never have, the life that could've been, if he had thought only of himself, if he hadn't tried to save her from becoming just another number.  
  
Like him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
He sits on top of a small cabin, in the snowy mountains, his left arm exposed in all its terrible 'glory.' He thinks, and remembers when he was Ewan...when he was human.  
  
Most of Ewan is gone.  
  
Now, only Artificial Human Number 24 is all that remains of a once- brilliant young man, whose only mistake was not watching where he was going one night as crossed the street..  
  
..And getting killed by a speeding car.  
  
He looks at the arm he stole from Jinzoningen Cell, and feels the tears coming again, along with the hurt and the pain.  
  
Maybe one day, he could be with others.  
  
Maybe one day, this arm wouldn't matter anymore.  
  
But today was a different story.  
  
Today, he was sitting on top of his small house, his tears freezing to his face, and melting as he continued to weep, holding his face within his hands, the cold carapace oddly reassuring as he felt the longing for death once more, as it chipped away at what remained of his human soul, forever locked away inside a cyborg body, with the arm of monster forever bound to him, making him more of an outcast than he already was.  
  
THE END.  
  
A/N: So, what did you all think? This is my first attempt at angst, so don't be overly harsh. And I DO hope to start The Revival of the Red Ribbon Army soon, but I wanted to see what kind of reaction I'd get from this piece first. So, let me know what you think, or if you want me to add onto this fic, or if I should do another one based in the same universe, but centering around a different topic. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it, and like I said, let me know what you thought. 


End file.
